Spiritual teacher Danielle LaPorte (www.daniellelaporte.com) makes a great point in this#Truthbomb.
People really are where they are. Really, no matter how much we wish they were somewhere different. Or could be somewhere different if they wanted to be. Or whatever our wish is for whatever they aren’t—yet.
Her prescription works.
Think of a person you’ve interacted with lately who’s frustrated you, or with whom you’ve felt thwarted in some way, or whose potential you could see, but they couldn’t yet.
Revisit the situation.
It happened to me just yesterday. Someone who had had ample opportunity to visit my website and learn who I am strung me along in a business proposition for six months with juicy promises. (I really should say: I let her string me along! But that’s another post.) Anyway, yesterday she finally sent me an email stating the conclusion I’d already drawn myself. We need not to be working together. Our goals and m.o.s don’t resonate together.
I spent a little time at a pity party for one, then I wrote her back a blessing and let it go.
This morning, here comes the wise Danielle with her prescription:
If you take the desire for someone to be different out of the equation, then you can meet them where they are.
Of course this is what I needed to do with my colleague!
But let’s go a little further.
Think of someone who’s been frustrated with you, or who feels you’ve thwarted them, or who could see your potential when you couldn’t—yet.
Don’t you wish they could have let you be where you are?
Don’t you wish they could have met you where you are?
Don’t you wish that they didn’t wish that you were different?
Really, wouldn’t you prefer a real connection?
If I don’t want to have to be different in order to connect with someone, then it’s only right that they don’t have to be different to connect with me.
Drop the need for anyone to be different from who they are at this very moment.
Assume we’re all really doing the best that we can with what we’ve got right now.
Hand out the benefit of the doubt in heaping spoonsful.
Then watch for authentic relationships. Here are some of the ways you’ll be able to tell:
You’ll feel loving … and loved (and it’ll be easy) … and so will they.
You’ll want the best everything … for both of you … and so will they.
You’ll fall into spontaneous paroxysms of appreciation … and so will they.
You’ll find that you celebrate your differences … and theirs … and so will they.
FWIW, The Beatles gave us the same piece of advice a long time ago: Let It Be.